I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I still have a little drunk in my system
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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