I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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