Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
