Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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