Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
