I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
