im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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