Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
