I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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