fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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