hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
