I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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