Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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