I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
His hands were made for my vagina.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
