Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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