he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
