found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
