I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
