Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Randomize
