I swear she didn't look like that last week.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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