I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
how drunk are you?
Several
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
