Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
