is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
