Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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