How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
