We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
