No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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