i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
