marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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