I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
