after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize