Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
