I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
