Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
