I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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