Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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