ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
