For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
