i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize