Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
and she was petting her beer can
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
