we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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