The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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