i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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