pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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