Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
