I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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