How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Randomize
