Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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