I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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