i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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