I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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