So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
