my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
