I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
