stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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