I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
