so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize