Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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