You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i wish my penis had a tongue
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
