I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
