So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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