Fine. I'll sleep in my office
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
