You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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