:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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