no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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